Until the Tide Recedes

The choir in this revolving carnival is driving me insane. The din is so loud that I can barely feel my own breathing. Exhaustion, nervous and physical, has taken me to the brink. So it's back to wine and despair, the only two things that keep me pacing through this labyrinth. One day they will bring me to non-existence, but that looks like it will take a while from here. In the darkness, there can only be light ahead, or so they say. I want to believe in it, but my songs have all been sung. It seems that my crimes, although the same as yours, are deserving of a sinister response. And what ethical highground have you been living in? There are no morals in any of this, just a set of actions and responses. Sometimes all of this dwelling on battered scenarios makes me want to spit up all of the life that I ever had and fall flat onto the cement floor in a heap of broken bones. Sometimes, the resentment and the fear turn my heart into a sodium crystallized ornament. And I am up to my knees in water. Buckets of runoff have filled my body up like poison. The threshold, however, is just around the corner. Patience is evaporating and the tide must continue downstream. Let it go.